Desperation Downfall
by Blakepalm2
Summary: It's love (lust, actually) at first sight for Dirk Strider as he spots none other than Jake English at a party. Unfortunately for Dirk, Jake's straight, but his best friend Roxy develops a (horrible) plan: "Just crossdress so that he doesn't KNOW you're a boy!" It all goes downhill from there in this fanfic full of sexcapades, misfortune, and heartbreak.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: For Darren (kittydirk)_

Thursday

"Alright everyone, please submit your papers," Dr. Egbert said in a loud voice so that everyone in the room could hear.

As Dirk Strider made his way past his professor's desk, dropping his opinion piece on the accumulating pile of bland, white pages, he felt someone shove him from behind. Dirk turned around, ready to give hell to whoever pushed him, but what he saw was a goofy face being made by his best friend, Roxy Lalonde.

"Did you do an A+ job, Mr. Strider?" Roxy teasingly asked Dirk in front of their superior.

"Hell yeah, I did an A++ job. I did such an A++ job that the fucking world champion of blowjobs had to say that I did a better job, and really fat, rich CEO guys bowed before me and said that my job was worth more than all theirs' combined."

"God dammit, Dirk, I asked a simple yes or no question! Do you see what I have to put up with Dr. Egbert!?"

"Please submit your paper, Mrs. Lalonde," Dr. Egbert said as he nonchalantly rummaged through the many drawers of his desk.

Roxy gestured to their teacher, "God, I love this guy!" she said as she jumped excitedly.

As Dirk and Roxy made their way out of the room as they always did, Roxy had a particular sparkle in her eyes because tonight their neighbouring college was having an outdoor dance. All along the campus music would be blasting and people would be grinding, having a blast, and/or getting wasted. Roxy would have to skip that last part, though; her days of drinking irresponsibly were over.

Dirk, on the other hand, was a lot less excited. He didn't have very good "people skills" because he'd lived with his famous brother for most of his life. You'd think this would make Dirk be really comfortable around others, but unfortunately, he was home alone most of the time because his bro was out doing famous people things, and nobody really acknowledged him at school. At one point Dirk had fantasized about the paparazzi stalking him home one day, then he'd become an international sensation overnight and have tons of friends, but his brother wasn't the kind of celebrity that had everyone caring about their family.

Roxy had transferred to Dirk's high school during their last year because her mom had gotten a new job. Roxy was gorgeous, she always had guys ogling her and girls asking her to join them on their various trips to starbucks, however, she always declined and every single guy who asked her out was turned down. Later Dirk would find out that Roxy was popular at her last school as well, but she never gained any true friends; Dirk was her first.

On that first day that she had transferred, Roxy had nobody to sit with. Sure, people offered her a spot at their tables, but it had made her feel awkward to choose. Instead, she sat with somebody who intrigued her; a scrawny boy with ridiculously triangular sunglasses sitting all by his lonesome. Neither of the two could recall what had happened, but somehow they instantly connected with one another and were inseparable, so naturally they chose to attend the same college.

Night fell among the small city and Roxy happily drove herself and Dirk to the college a few minutes away from their own. As they arrived, Roxy gazed in awe at the extravagantly positive atmosphere while Dirk felt the need to scuttle back into the car as fast as he could. He didn't have time, though, because Roxy grabbed hold of his wrist and started dragging him into the enormous sea of dancing people.

Once Roxy found that they were adequately submerged within the crowd, she began to dance. Dirk just cautiously bobbed to the beat, wishing to avoid looking like an utter fool.

"Grind against my luscious booty, Dirky," Roxy whispered to Dirk.

"What!? No!"

"I swear to god it'll look so cool. People will be like 'Look at those guys gettin dirty they're hot.' I read somewhere that grinding raises your sex appeal by 20%." Roxy explained.

"Why do you even care, though? You don't want any brain dead, sex crazed men anyway!" Dirk exclaimed.

"You're being such a buzz kill. Just do this or I'll hack into the school's server again and change your grades!"

Dirk knew that she was being serious, this would be no difficult task for his amazingly smart best friend, she had done it before, after all (to change her own grades for the better). She was smart when she wanted to be, but in class and during tests she rarely wanted to be. They were both considered geniuses, actually. Dirk excelled at building things whether it be robotics or complex codes, while Roxy never failed at breaking those things down no matter how tightly they may be secured.

Dirk awkwardly grinded his crotch against his best friend's butt as she smiled contently. While he was looking around, uninterested by the tush promptly rubbing against him, he spotted someone that made his heart jump.

Roxy's booty gyrations came to a halt as she felt something poking at her behind. "Wha? Dirk! Put that thing back down! I wasn't gonna grind you if I knew you were into chicks!"

"Sorry! It's not you at all!" Dirk explained

"Gee thanks."

"Just look over there!" Dirk grabbed his friend's head and turned it towards two guys grabbing drinks from a table.

"Wowee yeah you're right that one in the blue is a total cutie."

"No! I'm talking about the other in the green shirt." Dirk said, turning Roxy's head slightly to the left.

There, a tall, lean boy with tanned skin stood. He had slightly spiky brown hair and wore glasses, which was quite a contrast from Dirk, who was shorter, pale, skinny, and definitely used more gel in his spiky blonde hair. The other boy standing next to him had shaggy black hair and blue glasses. They looked strangely similar but also extremely different.

"Yeah he's stellar!" Roxy finally said. "You should go talk to him!"

"What no. He's Indiana Jones and I'm a superfluous snake that would just freak him out!"

"You're being dramatic! Here, I'll go talk to him."

Roxy marched confidently over to the two guys and Dirk could see that she instantly began chatting. Dirk waited impatiently for her to return, gazing over every now and then to check on her progress. Finally, she said her goodbyes and made her way back.

"Ok. Alright. Ok. So the tall one that gave you a boner is named Jake and the other cutie is John," Roxy told Dirk.

Dirk sarcastically said, "Wow! That's really great! Ok, let's go."

"WHAT!?" Roxy shouted. "I just did ALL that work so that MAYBE you can have a chance to bang the man of your FUCKING DREAMS and you WANT TO LEAVE!? I CANNOT BELIEVE!"

"Listen, Rox, he probably doesn't even like guys! It'd just be a waste of my affections and time. It's better to just forget about him." Dirk said.

"No. No. Sweet momma Roxy is NOT ok with this ridiculous outcome."

"Deal with it."

"Fine. Let's go."

With that, Roxy stormed off to her car and Dirk angrily followed. Once they got into the car and Roxy began to drive away, Dirk was smug, thinking he'd won. Little did he know that Roxy had made plans to do some research on this "Jake" person; her best friend had been too single for too long, and let's face it, they were both really desperate; so desperate for one another's approval and the approval of others, that it just might be their downfall.


	2. Chapter 2

Friday

Roxy skipped out on her and Dirk's usual routine of leaving class together; she was determined to get down to business. Roxy rushed across campus to get to her dorm room, then grabbed her laptop and hopped right on her bed. While the laptop booted up, Roxy reflected upon a recent memory of her mother. Why this memory suddenly appeared, she did not know; perhaps it had something to do with her purple wizard background.

Roxy could never remember having many friends, what, with the constant moving and all.

"Why are we leaving, mommy?" she would ask.

The reply would always be the same, "I have a new job, sweetie."

It wasn't until the fifth grade that Roxy could see through this lie. In reality, her mother was quite awful at retaining lovers for more than a few weeks.

"It must be," Roxy once thought, "because of the familiar sights of that town remind her of her exes."

Who knew what the real reason was? Who cared, Roxy was free now. "I'm going to the same college as Dirk, mother," she had said sternly, holding her ground. Mom Lalonde had always disapproved of her daughters love for science and technology, and even more of her "obsession" with Dirk. It wasn't an obsession, obviously; if you only had one true friend in this whole, lonely world, wouldn't you want to make them happy?

After what seemed like an eternity in Roxy's mind, the computer was ready for use. She dashed her mouse across the desktop and viciously pounded her trackpad to get onto the internet. Roxy typed with an elegant but furious speed, "Jake." Jake...what?

"JAKE WHAT!?" Roxy screamed.

How could she have been so stupid! She forgot to ask for his last name. Roxy hadn't even drunk anything at the party, those actions were just a complete and utter brainfart.

After almost slamming her fist against her keyboard, Roxy remembered something. She jumped up and off her bed, and scoured through her laundry looking for yesterday's jeans. Once she had found them under her ironically purchased "ayy lmao" tank top, she thrust her hand into the jean's pocket and pulled out a small sheet of paper. Roxy struggled to unwrinkle the abused page as her fingers trembled with anticipation. Finally, she reverted the sheet back to it's original form (somewhat) and it read: "Mr. Egbert's kind of sexy, am I right?"

Wrong paper, this was a note that Dirk had passed to Roxy during class. She fully agreed with her BFF's (probably) ironic statement. Roxy calmly checked the other jean pocket to reveal a page of sky blue note paper that had some numbers scribbled on it. Above the numbers were some cutely drawn bubble letters that said "John's Number."

"Drat!" Roxy said, "If only it was Jake's. Looks like I have to do it the hard way."

She yoinked out her cell phone, began calling the number on the page, and a voice answered oddly fast.

"Yellow!?" the voice said.

"Hey, dog. This is John, right?"

"Nope! It's sea Hitler."

"Sea Hitler?"

"I don't even know, Roxy, it came to me in a dream."

"Holy shitpoops I had the same dream, like, at some point." Roxy vaguely explained. "And oh my god you remembered my name! BB!"

"Haha, yeah. So what's up?" John said slyly as if he knew something was coming.

"I need to know if hottie Jake has the hots for the male homosapiens if you catch my drift."

"Oh." was all John said, disappointed, it seemed. "Ya, I'm pretty sure that he likes the lady heterosapiens."

"Not a word, dumbass."

"Very rude. Not all of us can be uber smart like you." John said, pretending to be hurt.

"Oooo, so you've heard of me? Hehe, winks through phone." Roxy said seductively.

"Yeah, I heard that there's this genius girl at the school near ours and she's so cute you wouldn't believe she could do addition."

"Oh, stop it, you." She said in a cliche fashion.

"I didn't believe it until I saw you in the flesh! And well, I'm sad to say that I still don't. They were wrong." John said sadly.

"Excuse me!?" Roxy said, actually offended this time.

"They were wrong. They said you were cute, when really, you are SMOKIN'!"

"You smooth motherfucker!" Roxy said through her obligatory giggles.

John and Roxy talked for a while longer, and she tried to hang up whenever she could, but John quick, and never gave her the opportunity. Finally, after talking for a long hour, they said their goodbyes.

"Talk to you later, babe." John said.

"Ya don't count on it." Roxy said, annoyed.

Roxy sighed as she hung up, finally free from his horrid flirting and cheesy pickup lines. She looked down at the floor in deep thought, all of her efforts had been for naught, and now she was caught in a knot of sorrow she brought, if only she had her her vodka, but alas, she had jack squat.

"I'm such a useless friend," Roxy whispered to herself.

Just then, she had an idea, a horrible idea, yes, but an idea nonetheless.

"If he likes girls," Roxy said deviously to herself, "then I'll get him a girl, alright."

She snatched the phone off of her laundry and dialed as she sprung on the bed, seeming to have gotten her second wind. She squealed as the tone on the other end ringed.

"Yo." Dirk's voice answered.

"Dirky, I have a proposition." Roxy said.

"Which entails what?"

"It entails you getting to mack on Jake Something."

"Roxy," Dirk began condescendingly, "I already told you, it's a waste of time."

"Shut up and listen for a sec! What if, WHAT IF…" she paused for dramatic effect, "I dress you up as a girl and you go on a date with him?"

"WHAT!?" Dirk exclaimed, astonished.

"Yeah I did a lil bit of snoopin' and it turns out he's straight, but I figured if we can get him to fall in love with you as a girl, then he'll love you as a boy, right!?"

"Roxy, this is by far the worst plan you have ever conceived in your ridiculously deranged little mind. It's like, you know how people thought The Last Airbender movie was a great idea? Well it ended up being total shit and everyone hated it and everyone involved in its inception? Yeah, that's how your plan is going to end up, ultimately."

"Wow. No. I'm great, and so's my plan."

"Yes. You are, but no it's not."

"Come on Dirk! You really liked that guy, right? Remember that feeling of seeing him for the first time? I'm sure in your silly little hopelessly romantic mind you've already imagined like a dozen scenarios. Remember those and how great they are?"

Dirk, sitting at a desk in his own dorm room, had paused his construction on a new robot to talk to Roxy, and was now blushing due to some completely hypothetical scenarios that he has just been reminded of.

"Fine I'll go along with your plan…just one condition."

"Anything, Dirk." Roxy said sincerely.

"Make me the prettiest damn girl he's ever seen."


	3. Chapter 3

Saturday

"I look ridiculous," Dirk said as he got out of Roxy's car.

"NO DAMMIT! You look hot as hell, FuCK!" Roxy replied, trying to encourage him.

Roxy gazed at the bar next to them, it seemed like a pretty top notch place. It was decently sized and seemed to have some kind of futuristic purple theme to it? Whatever the theme, it definitely looked cool.

A big neon sign caught Dirk's eye, it read: "Pumpkin Patch;" the name totally didn't suit the ominous purple and clearly sci-fi based furniture inside the bar. After observing the building for a bit, Dirk noticed that Roxy was staring at him, clearly admiring her work.

Dirk was wearing a good quality long blonde wig that Roxy already had for some reason, a bra that helped him look like he had boobs, but you know, not _too_ big that they're unbelievable. Also, he borrowed one of Roxy's shirts, but he felt it necessary to iron on a picture of a hat to give it more of that "Dirky charm." Then, he just wore black short shorts, oh, and his anime shades of course.

Dirk tugged down on his shorts, clearly uncomfortable. "Fuck, Rox, these things are scrunching my dick! They're way too tight. How the fuck do girls wear these!?"

"Well for starters," Roxy began, "a lot of us don't have dicks."

"Thank you for the biology lesson, captain obvious."

Roxy laughed. "Don't worry! So long as you don't get a hard on for Mr. Hottie jake's hot cakes," Roxy lowered her tone to a whisper, "Those are his buttcheeks," she returned to her regular volume, "then everything should be fine! Dick? What Dick? Lmao."

Dirk groaned, then began to recall the morning he just had in Roxy's dorm: Roxy _insisted_ that he wore short shorts on his date.

"But then my leg hair will give away that I'm not a girl!" Dirk exclaimed.

"HEY. Some girls have leg hair, you imbecile! Having leg hair doesn't make someone any less of a chick!"

"Yeah ok, fine, sorry, but I still want to lower the chances of Jake having any suspicions."

"Yeah I guess we shouldn't take any chances," Roxy admitted. "We'll just shave your leg hair!"

An argument followed, then Dirk agreed, but he didn't want to accidentally cut his legs before his date, so Roxy had to do it for him. That's right. Roxy shaved Dirk's legs. Please feel free to imagine that to your hearts content.

"Anyway," Roxy said, which made Dirk snap out of his flashback, "I think that's his car there, isn't it?"

Dirk turned around; it was indeed Jake's car. Jake stepped out of his green corvette wearing a plaid shirt and a t-shirt underneath that, let's be honest, probably had a skull on it.

"Ttyl bbg I'll be watching you two like a hawk the entire time and swoop in like a momma swooper bird to save you if anything goes wrong," Roxy said as she ran into the bar which was radiating with loud, muffled techno music. "By the way," Roxy turned, "John said that Jake's last name is English!"

"Thanks for telling me that, I guess? Don't get any ideas in there, Roxy! No more than two drinks!" Dirk warned.

It was at this point that Dirk got extremely nervous. Hot straight guy + Lying, crossdressing gay guy = highly probable disaster. Jake caught sight of him, and began to walk over. One step. "I'm screwed," Dirk thought. Second step. "He can probably already tell that I'm a dude." Another step. "FUUUUUCKKKKKKK."

"Howdy!" Jake said in a soothing yet energetic voice. "You must be Didi! Wow, those _are_ really pointy sunglasses!"

Oh no he's cute and hot at the same time shit.

"Heheh, yeah, sorry, they're kind of my thing." Dirk said, brushing some hair from the wig behind his ear.

"Don't apologize! I like them! You see, I have a thing for people with great individuality. I think it's cool that everyone has something that they call 'their thing.' For instance, I really like skulls, and I'm guessing you really like eyewear!" Jake said, fixing his glasses back on his nose during that last sentence.

"Yeah I totally do! I also really like ponies!" Dirk said, trying to sound as girly as possible.

"That's adorable."

Once Dirk and Jake had found some seats inside the futurepurple-esque bar, Dirk spotted Roxy a few tables away from them, her face stupidly hidden behind a menu while she winked at Dirk.

"You see, once my friend John told me that you wanted to go out with me, I was so happy! My problem is that, I think loads of people like me, but I'm really bad at picking up hints and I never act on my theories, so when I realized how straightforward you were to just ask me out like that," Jake snapped his fingers, "though indirectly, I thought: 'Finally, someone who isn't afraid to take some risks!'"

"I sure am a risk taker." Dirk said, grinning awkwardly.

Those few tables away, Roxy was chuckling. "Perfect!" She whispered to herself, "They are too cute! Take that you non-believer, my plans are THE SHIT."

"What's the shit?" Someone said. Clearly Roxy had been whispering a little _too_ loud.

She looked up to see John winking at her.

"Ew go away," She said.

"I don't think so, dude! I feel like I deserve to be bought a drink! You asked me to tell Jake nice things about your friend Didi, and I did, now I just want a bit of payment," John said slyly.

"Sleaze."

"No I'm not! Look, you don't even have to buy me a drink! I'll buy you a drink!" John pleaded.

"You're gonna buy me a drink because I asked you to ask out your friend for my friend?"

"No, I just want to talk to you Roxy."

"Well I'll have you know that I am here on official girl biz, plus, I've already had one drink and I'm trying to restrain myself from having another."

"Then I'll buy you something without alcohol!"

"You're not gonna leave, are you?"

John shook his head.

"Fine. Sit down you asshole."

Back at Dirk's table, Jake was going on about some kind of story, but Dirk had tuned out because he was wondering if Roxy needed any help with her guest.

"In fact, I've been to this bar before!" Jake said.

"Oh?" Dirk said.

"Yeah! They have a really nice spot upstairs! If you wanted to go check it out then we could."

"I'd love to!"

Dirk and Jake rose from their seats and made their way through a crowd of seemingly purple people thanks to the lighting in the bar, and Dirk made eye contact with Roxy. Roxy gave Dirk a thumbs up before being pulled back into a conversation by John. Finally, Jake and Dirk reached some stairs and began ascending.

"Do you know where those two are headed?" Roxy interrupted.

"Huh? Oh, probably to bed if you know what I mean."

Roxy did not know what he meant. "Elaborate, Egbert."

"Well I mean, the upstairs of this place _is_ kind of like a love hotel. I thought everyone knew that? This bar is pretty famous around here because of it."

" . .shit."

Roxy rushed over to the stairs, where a bodyguard stopped her.

"Sorry, M'am, but our rooms are currently all occupied," the guard said.

"BUT I NEED TO SEE MY FRIEND RIGHT THIS INSTANT."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you in miss! That would be an invasion of privacy and it goes against our policies."

"You don't understand! My friend is crossdressing! We can't let his date see that he isn't a girl!" Roxy begged.

"You have no idea how many times a week we get that excuse so that people can barge into rooms and catch their friends doing the nasty to blackmail them. Scram."

Roxy began walking away, defeated.

"What's wrong, Roxy!?" John asked.

"I fucked up."

Upstairs, Dirk and Jake were walking down a narrow hallway which walls' were aligned with many doors. Strange noises could be heard from behind them, but the walls must have been really thick, because Dirk could barely make out what they were.

"So...Jake, where are we going? A balcony? Please tell me it's a balcony that could be so romantic, I mean, as long as you don't hold me over the edge like Michael Jackson's child."

"HAHA, oh Didi, you are quite the jokester!"

Before Dirk could make sense of what was so funny, Jake came to a halt.

"Here!" he said, pointing to a door that read "vacant." "I always liked this room the most because it has the most comfortable bed, I think! Oh, but don't get me wrong I've only ever been in two other rooms. I mean, if you've been in every room in this place you might have a bit of a problem!" Jake giggled.

Dirk was starting to figure out what kind of upstairs vicinity this was, then the door opened, revealing a heart shaped bed. How insanely corny and stereotypical.

Dirk gladly walked in and Jake shut the door behind them, locking the door and flipping the vacant sign to "occupied."

It was at this moment that Dirk remembered that he wasn't actually a girl.

"HOLY SHIT." Dirk thought. "I THINK THESE SHORTS MADE MY DICK NUMB I TOTALLY FORGOT I WAS IN THIS DISGUISE."

Now you might be thinking: what? How do you just _forget_ you're crossdressing!? Even if his dick went numb that doesn't just make you forget your gender. Dirk was so nervous about this night there is no way he would ever be so stupid! To which I would reply: Oh contraire, reader! LOVE makes you do some crazy shit! Like make you forget that you're crossdressing.

Mind you though, just like Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, this is not a story about love, but rather, lust. So I guess lust makes you do crazy things too.

The next thing Dirk knew, he was plopped down onto the bed and being kissed quite passionately by Jake. Dirk then made the stupid decision to kiss back, wrapping his arms around Jake's neck. Jake grinded his crotch against Dirk's, at which point _he_ realized that girls don't usually get boners.

Jake hopped off the bed.

"WHAT THE FUCK!? YOU'RE TRANS!? DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOULD MENTION BEFORE YOU ACCEPT TO GET INTO BED WITH SOMEONE!?"

"No! No! Jake, you don't understand! I'm not trans! Just gay!"

"W-What?"

"Ugh, this was stupid, I'm sorry. I just-I really like you! And well, maybe if you fell in love with my personality then you wouldn't care what gender I was!"

Jake was dazed by the revelation, but finally shouted: "You disgust me! You are indeed the worst kind of lying, villainous scoundrel! How dare you play with my feelings! Or those of anyone else! This is not a game, Didi, if that's even your real name!" 

"Dirk." he said, staring at the floor

"Dirk, this is probably the douchiest thing I've ever heard of anyone doing. You cannot just mislead people like this! I was so excited to meet a _girl_, and I was getting along with you so very well tonight. I'm extremely upset." Jake said.

"YOU'RE UPSET!? Do you have any idea how hard it is to have every single guy you've ever liked throughout your life reject you without even giving you a chance!? Oh wait, no you don't, because you're fucking hunky Jake English!"

"Hey now! I understand that it might be difficult sometimes, but tricking people is definitely not the way to earn their affections, in fact, it has the exact opposite effect. It pains me to say that I've truly lost all interest in you now; I don't date liars."

And with that, Jake left, without a word. He left Dirk alone on the heart shaped bed, crying.

"He's right," Dirk said to himself through his sniffles, "I am disgusting."

The bed seemed to mock him now, for a whole heart was what Dirk truly wanted, but all he had was the unfixable, broken one inside of him.

As Dirk made his way downstairs, the blasting techno music became clear. Roxy was waiting at the end of the stairs for him.

"Dirk, I'm so so sorry. I should have done research on this place before I even brought it up! I saw Jake leave and John followed him. Do you want me to kick his ass? I'll kick his ass."

"Roxy, no. He doesn't deserve it, it was an idiotic, messed up plan to begin with. We're the villains here, not him."

Roxy paused, contemplating what her best friend had just said. "You're right..I'm sorry, this is all my fault. I'm a terrible friend!" Now Roxy was tearing up a bit. "Come on, let's go back to my place! We can save this night, right!?

Dirk looked up at her in dismay, then left the bar. Roxy would have chased after him, she would have said, "It's dangerous to be out all alone at night when you're emotionally vulnerable like this!" but she just couldn't bring herself to do any of those things. She felt like too much of a failure; what right did she have to even call herself Dirk's friend at this point? She just completely and utterly ruined his life, so, she left. Roxy got in her car, and she drove away, back to her dorm.

Dirk wandered a bit away from the Pumpkin Patch, staring at his feet the entire time. He didn't have any thoughts, he barely had any feelings left; he just felt empty. Suddenly, he bumped into a strong, manly chest. Dirk shot his head up to see Dr. Egbert looking down at him.

"Dirk?" Dr. Egbert asked, obviously seeing through Dirk's disguise.

"It's not what it looks like Dr. Egbert, Roxy put me up to it."

"It's fine, I'm not a judgemental man. Why so glum?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, sir. What are you doing around here?" Dirk inquired.

"I was going to pick up my son from that bar near here, but he must have already left with a friend, so I thought I'd go for a leisurely walk."

Dirk would have asked who his son was but he didn't really care in his current state. Then he asked: "A leisurely walk at 11:30pm?"

Dr. Egbert laughed a jolly kind of laugh. "Ok, you caught me! Maybe I just saw one of my students looking upset and I thought I'd try to cheer them up, but it seems to me like you don't really want to talk right now, so here," Dr. Egbert scribbled his number on a scrap piece of paper he had in his shirt pocket, then gave it to Dirk. "Call me if or when you want to talk, I majored in psychology you know!"

Dirk forced a smile and politely said thank you, then they parted ways.

"Maybe," Dirk thought, "I _will_ go visit that hunk."


End file.
